The ONE Thing That Really Helps When You Feel Stuck
Do you feel there is a gap between who you want to be and who you are? Perhaps the gap is widening, and the fear that you will be stuck in this one place forever is creeping in. No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to make any headway towards a life that excites you. Whether it’s creating a healthier relationship with food, overcoming negative thought patterns, or stepping into a more authentic version of yourself, this disconnect is causing you to lose hope altogether.
You may surmise that there is something wrong with you on a fundamental level, or you just haven't found the missing piece of the puzzle. So you push through anything that gets in your way and chase the next credential, diet, or relationship that will unlock your happiness.
But the truth is, you are avoiding the painful discomfort of confronting your outdated beliefs.
The world and everyone, and everything on it, is constantly evolving. This gradual development is what makes life, life. It goes something like this:
We experience something (an event, a feeling, a sensation, etc.)
We make a judgment, whether it is "good" or "bad," based on how it makes us feel.
We shift accordingly. Either towards more of that thing or in the total opposite direction towards something we deem as "better."
Rinse and repeat.
As we develop beliefs around what a better life would look like, our future self (also known as the Higher Self) instantly becomes that on an energetic level. But the physical abides by the laws of nature and moves at a much slower pace. So how do you close the vibrational gap between your current self and your future self?
Practice.
Practice is the real-life application of an idea or belief.
Turning a theory into a practice isn't about mastering a skill. It is to take consistent, aligned action towards what you believe in and (lovingly) confronting all of your forgotten parts that don't even believe that you can achieve a level of mastery.
To believe in something is the spark that activates your movement. To apply those ideals to your everyday habits is what sets your soul on fire.
For example, a core yogic ideal is that staying in balance will bring a sense of peace to your life. If this resonates as truth for you, it will inspire you to show up to your weekly Hatha yoga class. But if you are snapping at loved ones outside the studio or hurling curses at your fellow commuters, that is a red flag that you are not living by your ideals.
Here are five ways you can practice living by your beliefs:
Be intentional
When we walk around on auto-pilot, the subconscious mind runs the show. The subconscious mind is a data bank full of every past belief, experience, and memory. It will keep giving you more of the same unless you intentionally choose a new way of doing something.
You get to choose your intention based on your goals. For example, you can practice focusing on the present moment with the intention of noticing unhelpful thoughts as they arise. Or, you can perform a specific exercise with the intention of developing a new skill.
When we move from a place of conscious intention, we influence our experience of the world around us.
2. Slow down
Moving with the pace of nature goes hand in hand with being intentional with our words, thoughts, and behaviors. It can be difficult, if not impossible, to be mindful of our current habits when running around trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Now, I know this is not always possible. Some tasks and seasons of life challenge us and require us to think and move quickly. But constant rushing around will lead to burnout. Be flexible with your energy, and remember to return to your natural state to reset.
3. Set reminders
Setting reminders and scheduling time to practice can set you up for success when making changes. For example, setting aside ten minutes in the morning to practice meditation before you shower for the day ensures you have the time and space to commit to yourself. Or setting a timer to go off at the top of every hour with a reminder to take three deep breaths.
Automated reminders help take the pressure off remembering essential practices and help build habits easily.
4. Check your expectations
Remember, it takes time for the physical to show what the spirit knows. I know this doesn't jive with our culture of instant gratification. Still, if you are quitting your practice after a few days, unrealistic expectations may be derailing you from your aspirations.
Thoughts such as, "I should be good at this by now" may be showing you that you are putting too much pressure on yourself and suffering from perfectionism. Try acknowledging your feelings and reframing this thought to a more supportive one, such as, "I know it can be frustrating for me not to catch on quickly. But I know I am capable of doing new things if I can be patient with myself."
5. Enlist support
Speaking of unrealistic expectations, thinking you have to do everything alone is isolating and setting yourself up for failure. We are all stronger together, and it does not make you weak by asking for help. Ask a friend to join you in your yoga practice, hire a coach to assist with accountability, or communicate your goals and intentions with your partner, so you are on the same page.
For the fiercely independent types that aren't ready for that type of vulnerability just yet, research highly-rated apps that can support your daily practices. For example, if you are practicing changing unhelpful thoughts, the CBT Thought Diary app will remind you once a day to log your mood and offer spaces to write down your thoughts and reframe them in a healthier way.
The process of becoming who we want to be is not easy. You can expect challenges and the resistance of many years of conditioning. But rest assured, there is nothing wrong with you. There is no grand, complex piece of the puzzle waiting to be found so you can finally see the bigger picture. Only the mundane, seemingly insignificant, but intricately powerful daily practices will deliver you to your future.
If you are ready to up level your practices and step into your future self, book a free clarity call to see if working together is right for you.